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The Addiction Button

addiction2It has become commonplace in our society today, that the word ‘addiction’ is used as often as Gazunheit.

And, it has become almost a condoned behavior, that when people march off to re-hab, we accept it as if our child is going to graduate school, again; the natural consequence of some scholarly study, in spite of the fact that our child has become the perennial student; always in school, never having an office to go to.

But addiction, by the definition of repetitive behaviors, much like Freud’s Repetitive Compulsion concept, will show up constantly in our everyday lives if we step back and gain some perspective on our actions.

Read more: The Addiction Button

Living Our Lives on Two tracks

walking on tracksA few weeks ago I was stressing over something that, quite frankly, had been a recurring issue. I was like a dog and a bone, chewing on it until my gums bled.

The real issue was not about money, but on the surface it appeared to be.

It was about feeling powerless.  

In spite of knowing the true source, the symptom kept dragging me around like someone was trying to pry open my jaws to release the well worn bone. I was not letting go.

I had the choice to let go…we all do, but staying attached to the symbol or metaphor became an addiction; I saw it, I felt the magnetic pull, but my little inner five-year old would not surrender.

Read more: Living Our Lives on Two tracks

Fear is not a stopsign...

For the last year and a half I have been working with a branding coach trying to define once and for all what exactly I do. The name FINANCIAL WHISPERER® sounds like I manage portfolios, or at the very least, dispense 401K information. As well, when I meet people, I spend the first 30 seconds explaining what I don’t do, and by then I’ve lost them, they’ve moved onto higher ground. It’s been frustrating, confusing, occasionally anxiety driven and has pecked away at my confidence when networking, because my definition has never been accurate.

I never talk about money; I always talk about the emotions that drive the behaviors that cause consequences in all of our relationships, money being one of them.

Read more: Fear is not a stopsign...

Today's Challenge: Do Something Different

rock climbWe all read inspirational books, listen to recordings that sometimes sound as if they contain new information, and promise ourselves we will do better tomorrow. And them tomorrow arrives, and we are totally someplace else, having forgotten our promise.

Healing is a choice. And when we choose not to shift our thoughts, not to change our perspective, we are basically telling ourselves we do not deserve better.

Here’s the comedy of it all; we already have all the answers. What we are responding to when we read inspirational books is that those writers give us perspective when we are lost in that dark tunnel of confusion of who we really are and what we really want.

That conflict keeps us small, keeps us in the shadows, and then we hear what we think are profound words and go: “Ah-Ha!”  They are inspirational because we already knew that but could not access it because our fears stood in our way.

Read more: Today's Challenge: Do Something Different

Gaining Control Of Your Life

gain controlAt some point, everything and everybody can be defined by: Who has control? Who needs it? How does one get it?

  • When our finances have spun out of control, we panic.
  • When our relationships seem out of balance, we fret.
  • When we think no one hears us, no one 'gets' us, we feel agitated.

The daily choices we sometimes make seem small; don't complain to the waiter your coffee is cold, purchase something you don't need but want to when you are on a tight budget. Agree to do something because you are afraid to say no. Get angry at someone when it's really your fault.

Sound like someone you know?

Read more: Gaining Control Of Your Life

Being The Person You Want To Be In The World

proud woman

When I am working with a new client, I usually ask: "On a scale of 1 to 100%, how are you on keeping commitments to the outside world? And how are you at keeping commitments to yourself?" Most of the time, the answer is: "100% to the outside world and 40% to myself." There are those rare times when the answer is: "100% to both."  But I know that, regardless, the root is the same, only the tools to heal are different.

When someone keeps commitments to him or herself 100%, they are a walking powder keg, on a tightrope that can snap at any moment. There is zero tolerance to make a mistake, but they can heal that judgment.

Read more: Being The Person You Want To Be In The World

Depression = Anger Turned Inward

depression

Depression is the ultimate “drug” for removal from the moment. It takes us out of the line of fire by making us act emotionally dead and lifeless. We become a spectator.

It is a subtle form of manipulation — being physically present and emotionally absent. It can even invite a strong negative response from those around the depressed person. One hears such comments as “Time to get going!” “Move on.” “Snap out of it!” “Stop acting so grumpy.” Or “Slow down! Why can’t you make time for (fill in the blank)?”

The common definition of depression is anger turned inward. Why do we use it? Where does the anger come from and how do we change that way of expressing ourselves?

There are many ways one can express depression, but the underlying consistent root is separating one from one’s authentic self, which, in many cases, is due to acute pain and fear — all statements of a misperceived lack of power.

Read more: Depression = Anger Turned Inward

To learn how you can work directly with Pegi Burdick, The Financial Whisperer®, click here.