The Financial WhispererTM
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May Newsletter 2012
It is not lost irony that my book is due to be released in the month of metaphors for the start of a new season, the hatching of new lives, the pursuit of love and joy and our days of sunlight longer.
It was a year ago this month that Sylvia Parker, a virtual stranger, kicked me in the rear to get me to confront my fears and finish what I had started 5 years ago, my book.
As you are reading this, the manuscript is at the formatter who will then put it into E-Book and print format for sale on Amazon. Being sold by Amazon is yet another piece of irony...I wrote my first book when I was in the seventh grade; Amazon did not exist then, but today, if my 12 year old daughter had written a book, I would be all over it and trying to get it into the public's hands.
"Mother Knows Best..."
I was walking the other day with a new friend, and she accused me of 'Mothering' her because I suggested gargling with tea or peroxide as antidote to her sore throat. I laughed at her term, which then turned into a conversation about our mothers. I told her how ironic it is that my mother's classic phrase has come back to haunt me; did she really have that wisdom or was she just dismissing my angst?
Her constant response to my lamenting was:
"Don't worry darling, everything always works out."
And, she's right; things do have a way of sorting themselves out.
But, the problem lies in the moment...she never gave me the tools to navigate those murky waters. Managing those moments would have built my sense of competence and given me a sense of power instead of eroding my confidence. Managing those moments would have built my inner trust. Managing those moments would have taught me what self-respect meant.
Learning all those tools came later in my life, and maybe now they are challenges for you as well.
What are the tools we can use to manage those 'moments'...and, aren't those moments usually fueled by fear?
I learned this technique from Susan Piver's book: HOW NOT TO BE AFRAID OF YOUR OWN LIFE.
When you feel FEAR, do not send it away, do not try to 'fix' it. Instead, bring it closer as you would a good friend, and give it your full attention, looking directly at it. Let it rest on you knees as you stare at it and breathe deeply. Amazingly, as large as the Michelin man as it first seems, it will shrink right before your eyes the more you stare at it.
We can only live our lives in this current second...this current minute.This is where our power is...right now. You cannot have power in the future, it's not here yet. You can plan as best as you try to control the future, but sometimes-unpredictable things interrupt our lives and that's when we get tested.
Our resolve, our ability to keep a perspective, our humor, all gets challenged. But this is the window of opportunity to learn how to nurture ourselves in a way that we never received it as very young children; honoring how we feel in the moment.
So often when we are feeling pain, confusion, out of control, we automatically shift into 'fix' mode. (Although, ironically, we will criticize our husbands for skipping over the listening phase and try to fix our 'problem'.)
The better thing to do is pay attention to the feelings...be in the moment, be still. When you have been 'heard' enough, the proper answer will come to you, and the path ahead will be lit.