It's Never About The Money Even When It Is
Watch the video to see Pegi answer the question,
"why did you write the book?"
You can also read excerpts from the book below.
It's NEVER about the Money
...even when it is.
Why this client's inability to create stability looked like laziness...
Monique was already in her mid-60s when we met. She was born during World War II, and her father was stationed overseas. She was a first child, born to a mother who already had been damaged by her own mother, passing down her fears, insecurities and need to please her own mother. And, Monique was a twin.
People are always surprised when I talk about twins who lack intimacy, the additional layer of damage a child walks around with when rejected by a twin. It 's hard to figure out who inflicts more damage by rejection, the mother or the sibling. And, ultimately, does it matter? What does matter is that damage has been done, and healing is needed.
When Monique and I started working together, her mother was still alive, which made her journey move faster than that of people whose mothers had already passed. She was able to see, in real time, how differently her mother communicated with each of them, treating them differently; so it 's no surprise that one became more aggressive than the other, and that Monique 's sister became the dominant one.
The rage Monique suppressed over the years looked like depression, her chronic health issues were not a surprise, and her ability to hold a steady job that would have given her financial stability, was beyond her grasp.
Getting her to see that she did nothing wrong to warrant such rejection was a constant touchstone; every session we repeated that theme in one form or another. Digging into shame and the fear of abandonment gave her vocabulary that simultaneously expressed her true feelings without disguise and allowed her to let go of her suppressed rage without inflicting pain on her mother and sister, she was able to move on and eventually keep steady employment.
To read more client stories, the book can be purchased on the SHOP page.
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