Eliminate Your Financial Stress
- Discover the real reason you feel SHAME around MONEY.
- Learn why you OVERSPEND and change that HABIT.
- See why you UNDEREARN and what you CAN DO about it.
All too often we miss the hidden connection between our money and our feelings.
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It’s never about the money—even when it is. In the 20 weeks to follow, you will get tips and tools to solve some of your immediate concerns and move forward to meet your goals.
Hear how I work with clients
Are you dating a Financial disaster?
The less you know the more you’ll pay.
This was my motto when I was a mortgage broker.
When you’re dating, the last thing you’re thinking about is your bank account. But are you setting yourself up for future financial blunders as you dance your way through potential suitors?
He does the cha-cha; you follow gracefully. He changes pace with the California swing; you follow suit. He starts to tango, your heart beats faster. You have some fabulous moves that don’t go unnoticed.
You’re dazzled by his fancy footwork, but you’re not paying attention to the other signals he’s displaying. Or maybe you dismiss them as charming.
You smile when he feigns embarrassment that he left his wallet home, leaving you to pay for dinner. He sends back half-eaten dinners, complaining they were not to his liking. He wants to watch two films on one ticket.
He tells you “Going Dutch” is a cool thing modern women do… like his ex. He purchases $400 shoes but gives you a birthday present that looks recycled. He asks if you participate in your company’s 401(k) program and if your portfolio includes a will and trust.
What is he really asking you? And how much will it cost if you end up in divorce court?
Much of what goes on between women and men is fueled by historical messages, especially if the woman earns less than the man. She will look to men to rescue her and protect her. That fantasy has an expiration date.
That was certainly true in my first marriage. A graduate of Brown University and NYU Law School, he was a rising star litigator. He was ambitious; I was ambitious for him, pushing him to work more, hoping he would make partner.
I had the gall to ask him to sign an American Express Card application on our wedding day–so it would be available when we returned from our honeymoon.
I had fantasies of the perfect family: smart children, a home in Scarsdale with a wrought iron fence, a Volvo wagon, and engaging family dinners.
Thank you, Donna Reed, for propagating that illusion.
None of it came true.
When the marriage ended, I didn’t feel I was entitled to alimony, although I wanted it, and despite our having spent all the bonds I had acquired, I said nothing.
My timidity was costly. I was basically broke.
My second marriage? He was broke, and I had the money from my restaurant and construction businesses I’d built.
My fantasy this time was that he would wake up, become ambitious, and make the big bucks so I could retire.
The reality? We had acquired enormous debts, so my choices were: Pay him alimony or pay the debts.
I chose the debts.
In both marriages, I drank the Kool-Aid and kept the fantasies alive because I wanted to be taken care of. I didn’t want to be alone, and I didn’t want the pressures of making money.
By this time, I was in my late 50s. I lived in denial, a very expensive lifestyle choice.
In retrospect, I should have known better; he had $37 in his pocket on our wedding day and not because he did not get to the bank on time. And, I paid for the wedding.
Some of my hard-won wisdom:
Being present will save you from a broken heart and broken bank account.
What you see is what you get. Don’t try to rationalize someone else’s behavior.
Talk. Nothing trumps communication and it builds emotional intimacy.
Trust your intuition. It doesn’t lie.
Know what you respect. Look for core values and complementary habits.
Feel entitled to get what you want and deserve.
You cannot fix the truth.
You are worth more than the All You Can Eat Buffet.
Look before you Leap, your wallet will thank you.
Read what some of my clients have to say about their experience.
It's NEVER About the Money
...Even When it Is
It’s NEVER About the Money…Even When it Is uses words that are common to everyone and puts them into a refreshing perspective to show how we confuse our emotions with our finances.
The book digs deep and raises eyebrows; some of the observations are startling. The book comes from one woman’s journey of healing from almost financial ruin to peace and stability.
Pegi states, “If I can do it without a masters degree, so can you. It takes compassion, hard work and courage.” Using client stories to illustrate a point, the book also provides tools that can be used immediately.
Your emotions control every aspect of your life
The tool I call the Respect-O-Meter allows you to stay in the moment and ask yourself if you’re making wise decisions. When you choose wisely, you feel as if your world is in alignment things add up and the daily process of life flows easily around us and through us.
But when you choose poorly, you give up your healing powers and temporarily forget all that you committed to doing in the past.
The good news is that with each poor decision comes an opportunity to change things. In fact, each and every moment is an opportunity to choose again and to choose wisely.
This means that as you dance with your decisions, you are gaining self-respect and deepening your commitment to create a life that lives up to your own personal integrity.
Curious to learn more about shame and anger?
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