Find success in love AND your career! I was reviewing some clients’ profiles a while back and started to see a consistent sub-group forming; single, successful women. Man less. I looked in the mirror, Snow White notwithstanding, and realized I was one of them. After two divorces and more years single than married, I am recently back on the dating trail. I pondered the […]
Many weeks ago, I came across my baby book. My mother had kept notes about me until I was four. I did not speak until I was three and then it was in full sentences. She commented that I started dancing when I was three and had a good sense of rhythm and was very bossy to our new tri-color puppy, Chips. When I
When Nurturing Requires Saying ‘No.’ Read More »
A woman meets a man at the tennis courts… they’re both in the pro shop purchasing balls. They date. They fall in love. On the surface, this looks like a dream come true; opposite money habits that fit like a puzzle, but it’s actually a train wreck waiting to happen. How can one tell during the dating dance, which is whom? He impresses her
Over-Spender Meets Under-Earner Read More »
I was talking to a mother the other day about the tragedy of the fatal car accident at her son’s school. The classmate who died wasn’t her son’s best friend, but they knew each other as kids do when they share classes, familiar but not close. The mother was badly shaken up and took many days to try and make sense of something senseless.
The Secret Lives of Boys Read More »
We all read inspirational books, listen to a recording that sometimes sounds as if it is new information, and promise ourselves we will do better tomorrow. And then tomorrow shows up on our doorstep, and we are emotionally someplace else, forgetting our promise. Healing is a choice. When we choose not to shift our thoughts, not to gain a perspective, we are basically telling
How Our Childhood Affects Our Finances Read More »
Intimacy is learned at birth. The first eight to ten months of an infant’s life is the critical building block of time in his or her ability to trust, which confirms their self-esteem. The “good enough” mother will hold her infant to her warmth constantly and be able to anticipate the needs of her child. That need and appropriate expectation signals to the newborn:
The Magic of Intimacy Read More »
Shame is huge. Quoting psychologist Michael Lewis, medical correspondent Holly Van Scoy calls it “the quintessential emotion.” Donald I. Nathanson, M.D., said, “All extravagant behaviors are reactions to it.” Shame is a learned response resulting from adult comments and behaviors designed to control a child’s behavior. It’s often generational, passed down from parent to child, and then to the child’s child. As a controlling
Shame: The More You Hide It, The Deeper It Gets Read More »
You should not need to ask permission to be who you are. It’s about control: who has it, who needs it, how does one get it. I have a list of critical words: #1 is NO: a statement of boundaries. #2 is WHY: a statement of accountability. # 3 is PERMISSION: a statement of control. This concept of needing permission is more common in
The drive for PERFECTION is learned very early in one’s childhood. It is based upon the assumption that if we are “perfect” we will be loved. But in fact, PERFECTION is a SHAME-based drive. It removes one from the moment, reduces playfulness and confidence. It has no limits. The drive for PERFECTION goes on into infinity, which is limitless, and has no boundaries to
Perfection… the Endless Journey Read More »
I love talent shows and makeovers. Yes, I love the FAB 5 and wish I could have lunch with them. And Britain’s Got Talent is my go-to show to relax. Both have a transformative quality; in one, it’s about someone who has a big dream and a small stage. In the other, the person wants to start over and get a second chance at
Not Feeling Worthy Read More »
