Coaching Advice

holiday stress part 2

Surviving The Holiday Stress, Pt. 2

Here are some great tips from one of my former clients, Kristan! Are you dreaming of a debt free Christmas? I have to admit that there was a time in my life when the idea of even contemplating controlling my spending at the holidays would have thrown me into a full blown panic attack. I equated love with the size of my shopping receipts …

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shame can be the portal

Shame about money can be the portal to intimacy in your relationship

What you avoid will control your relationship. As women, shame comes in our starter kit. The perception that we, as authentically born, are not “good enough”. Our worthiness is like a sieve; we hold those moments of pride fleetingly. We smile and nod with seeming to agree acknowledgments. We feel disconnected to the applause, accolades, and requests for attention. Our moment in the sun …

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vacation without going broke

Go On Vacation Without Going Broke

It’s no secret that people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their retirement. Vacations and Christmas battle for which one gets the most attention, but at least vacations don’t dredge up guilt about gifts for the uncle you’ve never liked or how much to spend on your new beau when you’ve only been dating six weeks… The pressure vacations bring are: …

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financial double standards

It’s Time to Discuss Financial Double Standards

Breaking through financial secrets and resentment in your relationship. How often do you “turn the other cheek” only to find yourself in the same situation later-a situation that results in anger which you then suppress? How often do you witness your husband spending money on “toys” for him and then complaining that the orthodontist for your 11-year-old is too expensive? How often does your …

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success love and career

Find success in love AND your career!

I was reviewing some clients’ profiles a while back and started to see a consistent theme: single, successful women; some with children, others without. I looked in the mirror and realized I was one of them. After two divorces and more years single than married, I am recently back on the dating trail, so I pondered the question: What are my chances of marrying …

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antidote to fear

How Competence Is the Antidote to Fear

Let me start by saying that whoever decided that white tile was a good idea should spend 3 months in floor washing purgatory; they will never suggest this again! I have a white tile kitchen floor, and I wash this floor every other day…I’m not obsessive mind you, but it looks terrible when even the slightest dirt gets on it. After repeated usage my …

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permission to be your true self

Your True Self

As a coach, I have been helping women over the last nine years get clarity as to why they have financial stress and how to get rid of it. Of course, it’s never really about their money, it’s about their emotions that control their financial decisions. I get it, they get it. But what about the other 5000 tiny, subtle feelings that get overshadowed …

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needs are showing

Whoops! Your needs are showing…

Many weeks ago, I came across my baby book. My mother had kept notes about me until I was four. She commented that I started dancing when I was three and had a good sense of rhythm and was very kind to our new tri-color puppy, Chips. When I was four, she commented again about how attentive and remarkably nurturing I was to him …

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tension in your marriage

The $$ Tension In Your Marriage

Why Less Money Doesn’t Have To Mean More Problems We have been living in a financially insecure economy for over seven years and even though in some areas there has been a significant uptick, some of the stress from that has seeped into our relationships, and that has led to a rise in divorces. 70% of married couples fight about money, which is more …

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core values

Living Your Core Values

2017 is a milestone year for me as a coach. It was ten years ago that my life made a 45-degree turn, and everything as I knew it did not shift with me, in fact except for my cat and dog, everything changed…my job, my rented beach house, my marriage. The wisdom of a door closing and another one opening prevails, although at the …

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holiday stress

Surviving The Holiday Stress…

The holidays always stir up memories, and with them, feelings of guilt and expectations, especially when it comes to gift-giving. Somewhere along the line, how much we give or receive has become the measurement of love and appreciation: “The more expensive the gift, the more you love me.” At least that’s what I came to believe as a child. Now I am wiser without …

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not going to take it anymore

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Have you noticed lately that everyone is becoming more edgy and cranky? Last week, The New York Times ran a story by Claire Martin about a business that provides “Anger Rooms”, where people pay to take a bat and beat up TV’s and other “smashable” objects to release their repressed rage. This new idea for a business doesn’t surprise me much as I have …

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becoming your own best friend

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

The other day, I overheard someone use the phrase, “she is her own worst enemy.” I know what that means and I know how that feels. I had been a life-long member of that club. But, we never hear: “she is her own best friend.” Here’s one of my former client’s internal contradiction: Barbara, let’s call her, could feel completely comfortable and at ease …

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emotional extortion

Manipulation: 7 Vehicles Of Emotional Extortion

We are all masters of manipulation. We learn this form of communication from birth by copying what we experience with our parents and siblings. Monkey see, monkey do. It’s a form of emotional blackmail, hiding what our true needs are. You’ve manipulated others, and you’ve been manipulated, too. Do you see that’s the truth for us all? Conversely, when children are raised with respect …

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How to Protect Yourself Financially If Your Partner Cheats

What’s the biggest issue for partners? Staying 100 percent faithful. When I think about infidelity’s impact on a marriage, my first reaction is: Where is the prenup? Unfortunately, most people don’t get a prenup because they are afraid to talk about money or their financial expectations (and they live in a fantasyland and believe divorce will never knock on their door). Ah-ha: Herein lies …

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divorce isn't always bad

Why Divorce Isn’t Always Bad

Getting divorced, each time (2) really was a godsend; it freed me up to live my life with respect. The first time I was married, it was for love, or so I thought. I was too young emotionally (25) and I was not grounded enough to be a ‘good’ wife. I was living with the traditional values I was brought up with; marry a …

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good enough mom

Being the Good Enough Mom

I have a coaching practice in L.A. where most of my clients are mothers. They usually come to me to sort out their stressful financial issues…only to discover it’s really not about the money. Mothers’ lives are more complicated than non-moms because having children automatically brings one into judgment about their ability and competence to be a Good Mother. I help my clients understand …

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debt define who you are

Don’t Let Debt Define Who You Are

A few weeks ago, I took a call from a woman who was concerned that her bankruptcy would turn off any man she dated, thus creating a “no-fly zone” in her chances of remarrying. Her second marriage had lasted 11 years and she ran a successful company during that time. Since she bore much of the financial burden, when the company eventually went under, …

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fear is not a stop sign

Fear Is Not A Stop Sign

For the last year and a half I have been working with a branding coach trying to define once and for all what exactly I do. The name FINANCIAL WHISPERER® sounds like I manage portfolios, or at the very least, dispense 401K information. As well, when I meet people, I spend the first 30 seconds explaining what I don’t do, and by then I’ve …

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