Coaching Advice

Shopping habits out of control.

What To Do When Your Shopping Habit Goes From Fun Distraction To Self-Destructive

There’s nothing wrong with a little retail therapy, but sometimes it goes too far. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didn’t see it coming. After hours of replaying the conversation and trying to figure out what I did “wrong”, I took a walk. I wanted frozen yogurt, so it seemed natural to stop in at the mall for a little distraction. That was my …

What To Do When Your Shopping Habit Goes From Fun Distraction To Self-Destructive Read More »

Couple holding hands in an article on emotional connection.

The Crucial Ingredient Missing From Almost All Insecure Relationships

Without it, you just can’t thrive — no matter how compatible you seem. Every day when I take a break from working, I go on Facebook to look for funny animal videos. The videos that mesmerize me the most are the ones where the Koi fish nuzzles the cat, the deer who has been playing with the dog for eight years, or my favorite: the …

The Crucial Ingredient Missing From Almost All Insecure Relationships Read More »

always arguing

How To Deal With People Who Think You’re Arguing Every Time You Try To Express Yourself

You feel attacked, but so do they. What now? Where’s the podium when you need one? I was the last born child in a family of five. With an older sister and brother, and my parents, I had four times as many chances to be valued and celebrated, but I had equally as many chances to be pushed away and marginalized. The problem? Everyone, …

How To Deal With People Who Think You’re Arguing Every Time You Try To Express Yourself Read More »

Couple in love in an article on mastering uncomfortable conversations.

5 Ways To Master Uncomfortable Conversations In Your Relationship (So Your Love Can Grow Deeper)

What do you really want in a relationship? Clarity? If intimacy, stay tuned. If closeness, hang around. If you’re seeking convenience, take a seat. You can have all of these in your relationships, but not at the same time. And frankly, these three phrases can apply to all of your relationships. What are the consequences when we are less than 100% honest with our …

5 Ways To Master Uncomfortable Conversations In Your Relationship (So Your Love Can Grow Deeper) Read More »

perfection

Perfection – The Journey Without a Destination

The drive to perfection is learned very early in one’s childhood as a misconception that if we are “perfect” we will be loved. But in fact, perfection is a shame based drive. It removes one from the moment, reduces playfulness and feeling free. It has no limits. The drive goes into infinity, floating without boundaries, a very different experience from excellence. Excellence is fueled …

Perfection – The Journey Without a Destination Read More »

shame can be the portal

Shame About Money Can be the Portal to Intimacy in Your Relationship

What you avoid will control your relationship. As women, shame comes in our starter kit. The perception that we, as authentically born, are not “good enough”. Our worthiness is like a sieve; we hold those moments of pride fleetingly. We smile and nod with seeming to agree acknowledgments. We feel disconnected to the applause, accolades, and requests for attention. Our moment in the sun …

Shame About Money Can be the Portal to Intimacy in Your Relationship Read More »

vacation without going broke

Go On Vacation Without Going Broke

It’s no secret that people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their retirement. Vacations and Christmas battle for which one gets the most attention, but at least vacations don’t dredge up guilt about gifts for the uncle you’ve never liked or how much to spend on your new beau when you’ve only been dating six weeks… The pressure vacations bring are: …

Go On Vacation Without Going Broke Read More »

financial double standards

It’s Time to Discuss Financial Double Standards

Breaking through financial secrets and resentment in your relationship. How often do you “turn the other cheek” only to find yourself in the same situation later-a situation that results in anger which you then suppress? How often do you witness your husband spending money on “toys” for him and then complaining that the orthodontist for your 11-year-old is too expensive? How often does your …

It’s Time to Discuss Financial Double Standards Read More »

childhood affects our choices as adults

How Our Childhood Affects Our Choices As Adults

We all read inspirational books, listen to recordings that sometimes sound as if it is new information, and promise ourselves we will do better tomorrow. And then tomorrow arrives, and we are totally someplace else, forgetting our promise. Healing is a choice. When we choose not to shift our thoughts, not to gain a perspective, we are basically telling ourselves we do not deserve …

How Our Childhood Affects Our Choices As Adults Read More »

permission to be your true self

Your True Self

As a coach, I have been helping women over the last nine years get clarity as to why they have financial stress and how to get rid of it. Of course, it’s never really about their money, it’s about their emotions that control their financial decisions. I get it, they get it. But what about the other 5000 tiny, subtle feelings that get overshadowed …

Your True Self Read More »

tension in your marriage

The $$ Tension In Your Marriage

Why Less Money Doesn’t Have To Mean More Problems We have been living in a financially insecure economy for over seven years and even though in some areas there has been a significant uptick, some of the stress from that has seeped into our relationships, and that has led to a rise in divorces. 70% of married couples fight about money, which is more …

The $$ Tension In Your Marriage Read More »

core values

Living Your Core Values

2017 is a milestone year for me as a coach. It was ten years ago that my life made a 45-degree turn, and everything as I knew it did not shift with me, in fact except for my cat and dog, everything changed…my job, my rented beach house, my marriage. The wisdom of a door closing and another one opening prevails, although at the …

Living Your Core Values Read More »

holiday stress

Surviving The Holiday Stress…

The holidays always stir up memories, and with them, feelings of guilt and expectations, especially when it comes to gift-giving. Somewhere along the line, how much we give or receive has become the measurement of love and appreciation: “The more expensive the gift, the more you love me.” At least that’s what I came to believe as a child. Now I am wiser without …

Surviving The Holiday Stress… Read More »

not going to take it anymore

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Have you noticed lately that everyone is becoming more edgy and cranky? Last week, The New York Times ran a story by Claire Martin about a business that provides “Anger Rooms”, where people pay to take a bat and beat up TV’s and other “smashable” objects to release their repressed rage. This new idea for a business doesn’t surprise me much as I have …

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Read More »

becoming your own best friend

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

The other day, I overheard someone use the phrase, “she is her own worst enemy.” I know what that means and I know how that feels. I had been a life-long member of that club. But, we never hear: “she is her own best friend.” Here’s one of my former client’s internal contradiction: Barbara, let’s call her, could feel completely comfortable and at ease …

Becoming Your Own Best Friend Read More »

emotional extortion

Manipulation: 7 Vehicles Of Emotional Extortion

We are all masters of manipulation. We learn this form of communication from birth by copying what we experience with our parents and siblings. Monkey see, monkey do. It’s a form of emotional blackmail, hiding what our true needs are. You’ve manipulated others, and you’ve been manipulated, too. Do you see that’s the truth for us all? Conversely, when children are raised with respect …

Manipulation: 7 Vehicles Of Emotional Extortion Read More »

How to Protect Yourself Financially If Your Partner Cheats

What’s the biggest issue for partners? Staying 100 percent faithful. When I think about infidelity’s impact on a marriage, my first reaction is: Where is the prenup? Unfortunately, most people don’t get a prenup because they are afraid to talk about money or their financial expectations (and they live in a fantasyland and believe divorce will never knock on their door). Ah-ha: Herein lies …

How to Protect Yourself Financially If Your Partner Cheats Read More »

good enough mom

Being the Good Enough Mom

I have a coaching practice in L.A. where most of my clients are mothers. They usually come to me to sort out their stressful financial issues…only to discover it’s really not about the money. Mothers’ lives are more complicated than non-moms because having children automatically brings one into judgment about their ability and competence to be a Good Mother. I help my clients understand …

Being the Good Enough Mom Read More »

fear is not a stop sign

Fear Is Not A Stop Sign

For the last year and a half I have been working with a branding coach trying to define once and for all what exactly I do. The name FINANCIAL WHISPERER® sounds like I manage portfolios, or at the very least, dispense 401K information. As well, when I meet people, I spend the first 30 seconds explaining what I don’t do, and by then I’ve …

Fear Is Not A Stop Sign Read More »

Scroll to Top