What To Do When Your Kids Are Clueless About Money So often I hear parents lament about how their children can’t seem to manage their money; always ‘borrowing,’ and never returning the cash or spending their allowance on things that seem impractical. Or, out of school and living at home without contributing to the monthly nut. Teaching our children good financial habits is easier …
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Find success in love AND your career! I was reviewing some clients’ profiles a while back and started to see a consistent sub-group forming; single, successful women. Man less. I looked in the mirror, Snow White notwithstanding, and realized I was one of them. After two divorces and more years single than married, I am recently back on the dating trail. I pondered the …
A woman meets a man at the tennis courts… they’re both in the pro shop purchasing balls. They date. They fall in love. On the surface, this looks like a dream come true; opposite money habits that fit like a puzzle, but it’s actually a train wreck waiting to happen. How can one tell during the dating dance, which is whom? He impresses her …
We all read inspirational books, listen to a recording that sometimes sounds as if it is new information, and promise ourselves we will do better tomorrow. And then tomorrow shows up on our doorstep, and we are emotionally someplace else, forgetting our promise. Healing is a choice. When we choose not to shift our thoughts, not to gain a perspective, we are basically telling …
The less you know the more you’ll pay. This was my motto when I was a mortgage broker. When you’re dating, the last thing you’re thinking about is your bank account. But are you setting yourself up for future financial blunders as you dance your way through potential suitors? He does the cha-cha; you follow gracefully. He changes pace with the California swing; you …
Here are some great tips from one of my former clients, Kristan! Are you dreaming of a debt free Christmas? I have to admit that there was a time in my life when the idea of even contemplating controlling my spending at the holidays would have thrown me into a full blown panic attack. I equated love with the size of my shopping receipts …
The holidays always stir up memories, and with them, feelings of guilt and expectations, especially when it comes to gift-giving. Somewhere along the line, how much we give or receive has become the measurement of love and appreciation: “The more expensive the gift, the more you love me.” At least that’s what I came to believe as a child. Now I am wiser without …
Are you a high earner, but still living paycheck to paycheck? Do people call you an overachiever, always pushing boundaries to get one more thing done? Can falling asleep sometimes feel like a war zone of worry, causing you to question your decisions from the day? Is the voice in your head relentless with criticism when you feel as if you’ve taken the wrong …
A few weeks ago, I took a call from a woman who was concerned that her bankruptcy would turn off any man she dated, thus creating a “no-fly zone” in her chances of remarrying. Her second marriage had lasted 11 years and she ran a successful company during that time. Since she bore much of the financial burden, when the company eventually went under, …
Several years ago we had a program where people could write their questions and we would provide answers. We found this little gem and wanted to share a common issue in families. Question: I have two young children and I grew up in a household where secrets and holding things back was frowned upon. The order of the day was to be always candid …
Can You Give Your Kids Too Much Information About Money? Read More »
What you avoid will control your relationship. As women, shame comes in our starter kit. The perception that we, as authentically born, are not “good enough”. Our worthiness is like a sieve; we hold those moments of pride fleetingly. We smile and nod with seeming to agree acknowledgments. We feel disconnected to the applause, accolades, and requests for attention. Our moment in the sun …
Shame about money can be the portal to intimacy in your relationship Read More »
It’s no secret that people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their retirement. Vacations and Christmas battle for which one gets the most attention, but at least vacations don’t dredge up guilt about gifts for the uncle you’ve never liked or how much to spend on your new beau when you’ve only been dating six weeks… The pressure vacations bring are: …
A woman meets a man at the tennis courts…they’re both in the pro shop purchasing balls. They date. They fall in love. On the surface, this looks like a dream come true; opposite money habits that fit like a piece of a jig-saw puzzle, but it’s actually a train wreck waiting to happen. How can one tell during the dating dance, which is whom? …
Breaking through financial secrets and resentment in your relationship. How often do you “turn the other cheek” only to find yourself in the same situation later-a situation that results in anger which you then suppress? How often do you witness your husband spending money on “toys” for him and then complaining that the orthodontist for your 11-year-old is too expensive? How often does your …
I was reviewing some clients’ profiles a while back and started to see a consistent theme: single, successful women; some with children, others without. I looked in the mirror and realized I was one of them. After two divorces and more years single than married, I am recently back on the dating trail, so I pondered the question: What are my chances of marrying …
Some people at times feel as though they are living someone else’s life — what they say, how they feel, and what they do never seem to match in a way that makes them feel whole. I have had many clients lament that they feel like they’re in a dense fog and can’t even see where they are standing, much less the road ahead. …
The less you know the more you’ll pay down the road. When you’re dating, the last thing you’re thinking about is your bank account. But are you setting yourself up for future financial blunders as you dance your way through potential suitors? He does the cha-cha; you follow gracefully. He changes pace with the California swing; you follow suit. He starts to tango; your …
As a coach, I have been helping women over the last nine years get clarity as to why they have financial stress and how to get rid of it. Of course, it’s never really about their money, it’s about their emotions that control their financial decisions. I get it, they get it. But what about the other 5000 tiny, subtle feelings that get overshadowed …
Many weeks ago, I came across my baby book. My mother had kept notes about me until I was four. She commented that I started dancing when I was three and had a good sense of rhythm and was very kind to our new tri-color puppy, Chips. When I was four, she commented again about how attentive and remarkably nurturing I was to him …
Why Less Money Doesn’t Have To Mean More Problems We have been living in a financially insecure economy for over seven years and even though in some areas there has been a significant uptick, some of the stress from that has seeped into our relationships, and that has led to a rise in divorces. 70% of married couples fight about money, which is more …
It’s 3 AM. Do you know where your money is? You and your partner have decided to buy a house, and your fear is that your credit report will show a bankruptcy you never mentioned before getting married. Or, your long neglected student loan is learning to play the violin in case you have to resort to becoming a street musician for extra cash. …
When I was a mortgage broker in 2005, it was a common practice to bundle homeowners’ debts into their refinance or their purchase. The rationalization was that a person could start fresh, with zero unsecured debt, and stay that way. Some of the lenders even made that criteria in providing the loan to the homeowner. It sounded great to me ten years ago when …
For you to make good choices in life, you need to know WHO you are. You have to do what is right for you which may not be the same as your sibling, your best friend, or your mother. It is your responsibility to stay as authentic as possible and to keep true to your core values. Knowing who you are will help you …
5 Secrets To Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions Read More »
Here are some great tips from one of my former clients Kristan! Are you dreaming of a debt free Christmas? I have to admit that there was a time in my life when the idea of even contemplating controlling my spending at the holidays would have thrown me into a full blown panic attack. I equated love with the size of my shopping receipts …
5 Ways to Stay out of Debtors Prison this Christmas Read More »
The holidays always stir up memories, and with them, feelings of guilt and expectations, especially when it comes to gift-giving. Somewhere along the line, how much we give or receive has become the measurement of love and appreciation: “The more expensive the gift, the more you love me.” At least that’s what I came to believe as a child. Now I am wiser without …
The other day, I overheard someone use the phrase, “she is her own worst enemy.” I know what that means and I know how that feels. I had been a life-long member of that club. But, we never hear: “she is her own best friend.” Here’s one of my former client’s internal contradiction: Barbara, let’s call her, could feel completely comfortable and at ease …
What does how we live say about who we are? And what does it imply about what’s truly happening inside of our minds and hearts? I’ll tell you. Our environment – whether it’s our car, bedroom, or home – gives our inner five-year-old a chance to make a statement. She/he also has the opportunity to make a statement in one’s finances, food, choice of …
The way you do one thing IS the way you do everything Read More »
We are all masters of manipulation. We learn this form of communication from birth by copying what we experience with our parents and siblings. Monkey see, monkey do. It’s a form of emotional blackmail, hiding what our true needs are. You’ve manipulated others, and you’ve been manipulated, too. Do you see that’s the truth for us all? Conversely, when children are raised with respect …
What’s the biggest issue for partners? Staying 100 percent faithful. When I think about infidelity’s impact on a marriage, my first reaction is: Where is the prenup? Unfortunately, most people don’t get a prenup because they are afraid to talk about money or their financial expectations (and they live in a fantasyland and believe divorce will never knock on their door). Ah-ha: Herein lies …
How to Protect Yourself Financially If Your Partner Cheats Read More »
A few weeks ago, I took a call from a woman who was concerned that her bankruptcy would turn off any man she dated, thus creating a “no-fly zone” in her chances of remarrying. Her second marriage had lasted 11 years and she ran a successful company during that time. Since she bore much of the financial burden, when the company eventually went under, …