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The Financial Whisperer® Newsletter: It's Never About The Money!

The Financial Whisperer®
Start Untangling Your Emotions From Your $$$

April Newsletter 2012

It is not a lost irony that my book is released in the month of metaphors for the start of a new season, the hatching of new lives, the pursuit of love and joy, and our days of longer sunlight.

It was a year ago this month that Sylvia Parker, a virtual stranger, kicked me in the rear to get me to confront my fears and finish what I had started five years ago, my book.

As you are reading this, the manuscript is at the formatter, who will then put it into e-book and print format for sale on Amazon. Being sold by Amazon is yet another piece of irony...I wrote my first book when I was in the seventh grade; Amazon did not exist then, but today, if my 12-year-old daughter had written a book, I would be all over it and trying to get it into the public's hands.

"Mother Knows Best..."

I was walking the other day with a new friend when she accused me of 'mothering' her because I had suggested gargling with tea or peroxide to help her sore throat. I laughed at her term, which then turned into a conversation about our mothers. I told her how ironic it is that my mother's classic phrase has come back to haunt me; did she really have that wisdom or was she just dismissing my angst?

Her constant response to my lamenting was: "Don't worry darling, everything always works out."

And she's right; things do have a way of sorting themselves out.

But the problem lies in the moment.  She never gave me the tools to navigate those murky waters. Managing those moments would have built my sense of competence and given me a sense of power instead of eroding my confidence. Managing those moments would have built my inner trust. Managing those moments would have taught me what self-respect meant.

Learning all those tools came later in my life, and maybe now they are challenges for you as well.

What are the tools we can use to manage those 'moments?'  And aren't those moments usually fueled by fear?

I learned this technique from Susan Piver's book: HOW NOT TO BE AFRAID OF YOUR OWN LIFE.

When you feel FEAR, do not send it away, do not try to 'fix' it. Instead, bring it closer as you would a good friend and give it your full attention, looking directly at it. Let it rest on your knees as you stare at it and breathe deeply. Amazingly, the more you stare at it, it will shrink right before your eyes.

We can only live our lives in this current second...this current minute.  This is where our power is...right now. You cannot have power in the future; it's not here yet. You can plan as best as you try to control the future, but sometimes unpredictable things interrupt our lives, and that's when we get tested.

Our resolve, our ability to keep a perspective, our humor all get challenged. But stand firm: you cannot see your reflection in running water.