The voices in our heads are hidden in plain sight.
We all have them… welcome to being human.
Often those voices are snarky and negative, rarely of praise and compliment.
Those internal conversations tend to be one-sided and slowly lull us into the pit of shame, the cauldron of fear, the repository of feelings.
And, when those voices start to creep into how we feel about ourselves, our bodies respond by extremes: overeating or not eating, sleeping too much, getting up multiple times during the night, or feeling ‘off.’ As my mother would say: “Being at 6’s and 7’s.”
We experience unexplained fatigue or feeling restless and distracted all the time.
For some, shopping will be the distraction of choice, even if it’s online at midnight. And, then we keep inviting that faceless monster back for an additional dose of mental abuse.
Three days later, when our package arrives, we have physical proof we are out of control with our money; we just spent $300 at L.L. Bean online for winter clothes during the summer.
Why do we have these internal dialogs? Where do those conversations come from?
The internal voices are born out of our insecurities and our inability to trust ourselves. Maybe in your mind, you do one thing fantastically, but your behaviors in some other areas are sloppy.
Some people look in the mirror and are disappointed with the reflection.
Or no matter how big their bonus is, it’s never enough. The most universal voice says that whatever we are doing, it’s not ‘enough’… whatever that may be.
When we feel calm, safe, and intact, we don’t do things that later come back and bite us or say things we ultimately regret.
But, when those voices are doing the cha-cha in our heads, our hold on reality is tenuous and often we choose behaviors that keep us small and result in losing our self-respect.
Those moments look and feel as if there is a looming, larger-than-life shadow confronting our little inner five-year-old… and she is scared.
The monster slowly creeps toward us.
This confrontation explains in part, why we sabotage our growth and find ourselves living our lives below our potential. We are hiding from the assumed monster.
As children, that monster did exist but now has evaporated. Yet, our body and psyche have imprinted those scary moments.
And, they re-visit us in metaphors and symbols and will do so until we let go and allow healing.
What steps do we need to take to quiet those voices of gloom and doom and instead, fill our heads with voices singing our own praises?
Change always requires a shift in our thoughts and sometimes perspective but always, our behaviors.
Learning to be accountable to yourself takes courage, you have the capacity to do it, it’s just hidden in plain sight.
If you liked this piece, you will love PERFECTION